I am jealous. The Russian government bans Virginia's Attorney General Jason Miyares and 500 people from entering Russia because they have been critical of Vlad the Bad and his war on Ukraine. So why am I not on this list? Ever since that delusional dictator decided to invade Ukraine, I have written letters to newspapers (look right), published journal articles (Putin: A Dilettante in the Art of War), and ranted on social media, condemning the man and his atrocities. I even recommended a preemptive strike against Russia before the invasion, giving some of my Facebook friends apoplexy. All this, and I am not on his list!
Just think about what that would do to my freelance writing career. With every submission requiring a "brief bio," I could say, "I published in this and that, AND I am banned from Russia." The only thing better than that would be to be banned in China, which the Chinese Communist Party should do since my novel condemns the Chinese government for their genocidal treatment of the Uyghurs.
Putin the Punk banned Stephen Colbert. Barrack Obama also made the list along with some Senators. Many little people like me think Russia's head thug is a total douch bag. We should all be banned. People like me root for the Russian dissidents who carry out the time-honored Russian anarchist tradition of blowing their fellow Russians to pieces when they are too loyal to an autocratic government, as was the fate of the nationalist podcaster Vladlen Tatarsky.
Many of us celebrate the news of partisans conducting intelligence gathering for the Ukrainian army and committing sabotage and assassination on Russian soil. They remind us of the romantic stories of the European Resistance to the Nazis in World War II. Somewhere out there is Ukraine's Victor Laszlo.
Now, there is enough in this rant alone to get me banned from Russia for life. So come on, you pathetic Peter, the Great wannabe, make my day; exclude me from your country! It would be an honor.